I’ve been wrestling with overcoming some sins that keep tripping me up and holding me in place. The image of Delilah came to me last week when I read, “There will be moments, big and small, when you will willingly rebel… [when] you don’t give a rip about what is wrong [but do it anyway] (New Year, New Mercies on Youversion).
When I share an uncomfortable revelation I’ve had about myself, our friend Ruben Chupp often invites me to “sit with it” for a while—so I did—all week. I writhed. I struggled. I gagged (at least figuratively). I am too often like Delilah when God tries to mold me.
So when God gave me more medicine this week in a new devotional, “Facing God: Turn Your Heart Over to Him,” I tried not to writhe and gag. I don’t like being called “girl,” especially at 6 a.m. when I haven’t finished my first cup of coffee, but I kept reading:
Oh, girl, confess your heart to Me, pour out your heart to Me. … Keep turning over your heart for Me. I want to show you what is underneath the choices you make away from Me.
When you choose to keep ignoring Me, reading my words but following your own path, you are blind to my steps in front of you, deaf to my words whispered in you, closed off from possibility of new directions, new hope, new places where I want to take you.
Hear this: You are not stuck. You can be moved. You can change.
I began 2019 saying I want new directions, new hope, and new challenges in bold discipleship. But do I want to really look at what’s underneath the choices I’ve been making away from God? Do I really want to be moved? I’ll be sitting with that awhile this week.